Meditation IRL

Being able to bring meditation into your daily routine can be a great way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life. It's not always possible to spend lots of time meditating, but it is possible to be more mindful throughout the day. Meditation is what's called a formal mindfulness practice. There are many informal mindfulness practices - and many ways to take what you are already doing in your life and create a mindfulness practice from it. Also, the goal isn't to try to be mindful 100% of the time. What's important is to have a practice of mindfulness so that when you're in the middle of the parenting game, you can call upon what you have gained in your practice to help you.

We are very used to multi-tasking. Often it isn't even about getting more than one thing done at a time, but about distracting ourselves until we're finished with an activity. I can't even wait in line anymore without being on my phone! However, not only is multi-tasking bad for our efficiency and proficiency, it's detrimental to our ability to be mindful. Sometimes multi-tasking cannot be helped. Dinner has to get on the table and you have to keep tabs on what your toddler is doing, otherwise you'll either have really hungry children or a really big mess to clean up after. Sometimes, though, we get so used to having our attention on multiple things at once that merely paying attention to one thing at a time is boring. In these cases, it's important to push past the uncomfortable feelings of boredom and give ourselves a chance to be mindful.

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Much like meditation, informal mindfulness practices are about being present in whatever you are doing. You can use mundane things such as going for a walk, doing the dishes, eating, showering or brushing your teeth as informal mindfulness practices. Find your breath, try to be aware of the what's going on around you, and when you get distracted, gently bring your attention back to what you are doing. If you are washing dishes, you are concentrating on washing the dishes, not planning what you're going to make for supper the next day. You are aware of all the sights, smells and sensations that go along with washing the dishes. Much like in meditation, we can feel fidgety or allow ourselves to get distracted by what we are going to do next. However, recognizing and staying with this discomfort is part of mindfulness, and can help us to deal with other uncomfortable feelings that will come about as a result of daily life.

Ideally we would make time in our day for both formal and informal meditation practices. However, if you find the idea of meditating daunting or you don't think you can make the time meditate, starting with an informal meditation practice can be a great way to experiment with the concept of mindfulness.

For Further Thought:

1) Are you aware of when you are multi-tasking? 

2) Do you find ever yourself unnecessarily multi-tasking?

3) What obstacles prevent you from adding an informal meditation practice to your life?

For Further Reading:

PsychCentral: Informal Mindfulness Practice: Being Present for a Few Moments at a Time

Mrs. Mindfulness: 11 Ways to Bring More Mindfulness Into Your Life Today

Daily Good: 5 Ways To Bring Mindfulness Into Everyday Life

HuffPo: 13 Things Mindful People Do Differently Every Day

Zen Habits: The Mindfulness Guide for the Super Busy: How to Live Life to the Fullest

Meditation for Newbies

Meditation is something I had always wanted to try, so I decided to take a class at a meditation centre. I learned lots of different mindfulness techniques and even received several guided meditations that take about 15 minutes to do. Even though I knew these meditations would only take 15 minutes, I still struggled to do them. It took about two years until I made it a habit to meditate at least once a week for 15 minutes.

Meditation has helped me immensely not just as a relaxation and self-care technique, but in becoming more mindful -in being able to notice things going on around and inside me. I love how I feel after I meditate. You would think that after such a positive experience it would be easier to continue, right?

I have to admit that I still struggle to meditate even once a week for 15 minutes. Still, I realize that it's something that's good for me to do, so I try to push myself to do it.

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The nice thing about meditation is that it's simple to do and it's free. Here's how:

1) Set a timer for any length of time. It helps if the timer has a gentle ring at the end. Also, don't feel you have to aim for a really long time -start with just 5 minutes.

2) Sit or lie down comfortably. Use a pillow to help you sit more comfortably, if needed.

3) Practice breathing deeply. If you need something to focus on, focus on your breath, in and out.

4) Try not to be upset or angry at yourself if you get distracted. Imagine your thoughts as leaves on a stream, floating away. They may have caught your eye for a minute, but they are continuing on their way. Continue to breathe and refocus on your breath.

5) Open yourself up to whatever you may be feeling, and name it, without getting caught up in it. Mindfulness is about allowing and accepting. If you feel yourself getting stuck in your feelings or the thoughts that may accompany them, continue to focus on your breath.

Often people feel that they can't meditate properly because they feel fidgety and can't control their thoughts. It's important to recognize that there is no "proper" way to meditate and that meditation isn't about controlling your thoughts or "emptying your mind." Even if you are just sitting still for 15 minutes, you are still doing yourself a world of good.

For further thought:

1) What self-care rituals do you struggle to maintain?
2) Have you ever considered meditation as a parenting tool?
3) What obstacles prevent you from being able to meditate? How do you think you can overcome them?

For further reading:

Tara Brach: How to Meditate
Deepak Chopra: 7 Myths of Meditation
HuffPo: 12 Myths About Meditation, 6 Meditation Problems and Meditation for Parents
Tiny Buddha: 5 Meditation Myths
Life Hacker: Five Common Myths about Meditation
Meditation Oasis: Difficulty Meditating
The Anxious Lawyer: Difficulty Meditating – Troubleshooting Guide
The Change Blog: What To Do When Meditation Gets “Hard”